Tag Archives: friends

Sexy Back

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Hi, it’s Cate. Remember me? From Craigslist? I sold you that Step 2 wagon last week? I’m not a psycho or anything, but I just felt that we had a connection and would really like for us to be friends. Wanna get together and meet at the park?

I wish. Then I wouldn’t feel like such a loser right now. Friendless and all. I don’t even know at what point it got to be so hard to make friends. In elementary school, you just blurted it out, you know? “Hey you, wanna be my friend?” And if that didn’t work out, you’d say, “You suck. You’re not my friend anymore.” It was so easy and simple. But maybe I’ve lost my mojo. My friendship juice. I do think that part of it has a lot to do with the way I pick my friends. I’m what you call a shallow person. But before you go all crazy on me, allow me to explain. I pick my friends initially according to how they appear physically. Much like I used to do back in my dating years. Don’t get me wrong, however. It’s still their character that ultimately determines their merit. But is that so wrong? I know we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but isn’t it also true that “you are whom you frequent?” I want friends that would motivate me physically, someone I can share things with like, running and working out. I’m not a gym rat or a work-out-holic by any means, but I felt my best when I looked my best. And I just want to get back to feeling that way again. 

In the last four years, after having the kiddos, I have not been able to get back to my pre pregnancy weight. And it’s been a hell of a load (pun intended) on every aspect of my life. Just today, I was pushing both the kiddos in the stroller at Marshall’s and some lady says to me, “Wow! 2 and another on the way?” I was thinking, “What the fuck are you talking about?” but said instead, “No, I am all done with kids, thank you. This shirt just makes me look bloated.” Doesn’t that just make you wanna go home and starve yourself?

Yet somehow, in spite of being 30 elbees overweight, I’m still mentally fit. So in my mind, I still look for friends that are physically in shape, like I was before the pregnancies. So when I roam the gym or church or mall or meetup groups, I tend to have my blinders on, only looking in directions where my old self used to fit in, never even considering for a  moment that I too am being judged. Perhaps these physically attractive people are looking at me and seeing someone who is not a good fit for them. Maybe because of my current weight, they are unable to see what true beauty lies within me. Ironic, isn’t it?

With love,

Two Tons of Fun

a.k.a. Cate

A-Hole

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What’s up cornflake? I know. I know. It’s not exactly a four letter word. Give me a break here. It’s been a rough day. So rough that I’ve come to the conclusion that people are assholes. Here’s my conundrum. I have been living in SoCal for the last four and a half years and I have yet to make friends. It’s not that I don’t try, mind you. I have. And it’s not that I don’t have any friends, because I do. When we lived in San Diego, I managed to make a couple of friends. But one moved away to Arizona, and when we moved inland, driving over an hour to visit my two other friends just seemed like a daunting task. But we have been in our new home for the past year and a half and so far nada. For the longest time I thought it was me. Maybe I come across too desperate. Maybe I should have waited a few days to call. Or maybe I’m too intimidating. Maybe I act too good. But no, that’s not why. I’ve come to realize that people here are just superficial. Bunch of flakers. I thought maybe joining the gym would help, but nothing there either. I’ve joined a couple mommy groups, but it’s the same result. I meet someone I think I might have something in common with, even went out on a first date, and that’s it. I don’t get asked for a second date. The sad part is that if I come across these flakers today, they would say something like, “Oh my God. We should totally hang out. It’s been a long time. Let’s plan something.” And then, like an idiot, I would fall for it. So what do I do? I make plans. And then they either cancel or don’t even fucking bother to show up. At least call me, or text me if you’re too lazy, because unlike you, I allot my time accordingly. It’s just rude! Maybe it’s a Southern California kinda thing because where I’m from, in NorCal, we don’t do shit like that. We respect people, and their time. And I think I’m mature enough to know that not everyone is going to want to be my friend. I’m okay with that. But please, don’t look me in the face and make plans with me, all the while knowing you have no intention on coming through. Trust me, I won’t be running and crying home to mommy because you don’t think I’m cool enough to hang out with you. Next time you see me, just say hi and let’s leave it at that. Word to your mother.