Self Help Lies

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Honey. I have something to tell you. You may not like it. You may even hate me for it. So please sit down. And know that I have tried my best to ignore it but I can no longer fight or deny it. It has been eating me alive since I was a little girl. But I think it’s time that I no longer hide from my secret. This is who I am. The sooner I accept it, the sooner I can truly live my life the way it was meant to. So here goes it. I’m a closet……millionaire! Please don’t judge me.

No. I don’t secretly have millions. That’s so far from the truth. What I’m trying to say is that I wish I’m a millionaire, as in, that’s all I ever do, is wish. I have this feeling in my gut that I’m supposed to be rich but have no clue on how to make that happen. Wait, I take that back. I have a clue, I have ideas, but it’s following through with them, that’s the challenge. I’ve read all sorts of books on self help, hoping it would help find my “sweet spot” or “calling” or “purpose” but to no avail. They all say the same shit. Something about the way to wealth is doing what you love. But everyday is a struggle. How am I supposed to know what I’m passionate about when I’m not passionate about anything? Sure, I can spend hours shopping and not even know I’ve been looking at the same shit for an hour, but couldn’t that also be considered a time waster? How about sex? I like sex! Would that bring me wealth or herpes? Maybe I’ll win the lottery. But first I must play. Perhaps I can start my own business (a shop about sex). My college professor used to tell us that we all see opportunities, but what makes an entrepreneur different is that he/she actually goes for it and takes the risk. Which I obviously lack. So I dream about being a successful entrepreneur. I obsess about it. I read about it. I talk about it. I research and google about it. I am consumed by it, but does nothing to make it a reality. I wish there’s a simple answer to “How To Get Filthy Rich.” Then everyone would be in the 1 percent, right? Perhaps its fear of failure. Or just fear itself. Some say you choose it and others say you’re born with it. So is it in your DNA? The Steve Jobs, Warren Buffets, Bill Gates and Donald Trumps of the world, are they carrying some extra chromosome of some type that the rest of the 99 percent somehow is missing? Is that what makes them special? I sure hope not. Otherwise, I’m screwed.

Closet Love,

Millionaire Cate

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5 responses »

  1. Cate I just stumbled upon your blog and I love it! I recognize a lot of the things you write about your kids AND being a closet millionaire. I sometimes feel the same way, but I have settled now for just being rich …………. sometime in the future …………. the distant future. Keep blogging, your posts are recognizable, and funny! David.

  2. Aww. Thanks David for the encouraging words. I did a quick drive by your site (I will come back later on when my little rugrats are napping) and read you are currently living in VA! I left Virginia Beach in 07. Miss it but not that much. I mean come on, we’re talking about California here 🙂

    • I understand, have visited friend in LA, managed to see the sun set over sunset boulevard, fly back to Virginia and see the sunrise! Good luck with the rugrats, and be aware; my wife and me started with a boy then a girl too, telling everybody that it was perfect, no more kids etc. Then less than 2 years ago we met friends with a little baby, my wife was holding hte baby, I saw the look on her face and…. now we have three kids!

      • Don’t jinx me 🙂 I am done, and if by chance we have another one, we will name it accident miracle chance. hahahaha. Unfortunate news about VA Tech. How far are you guys from there?

      • Accident miracle chance sounds like a great original name! I was at Virginia tech last Thursday, I work at VBI (Virginia Bioinformatics Institute) which is at Virginia Tech, all the shooting happened pretty close to the building. We suddenly saw a lot of police and where told that the campus was under lock-down; nobody could leave or enter the building. They told us to stay away from doors and windows. I had to go to a meeting but followed the news over email etc. In the next meeting parents got phone calls from kids tht their schools were under lock-down too. When I looked out of the window the whole area was deserted, the only people outside were police officers in groups of 4 to 6, searching the area. Somehow that image made it more real and it was then that I realized some deranged person was on the loose. We were told around 4:30 pm that the situation was safe again. That they a police officer got killed by a guy who late killed himself. Why he killed the police officer? Nobody knows so far, it is pretty sad since the guy had a wife and 5 kids. I felt a bit sad the whole Friday thinking about that this police officer died for nothing, leaving a wife and kids behind.

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